Homer Simpsons and Christopher Boone
H: Hey you, the seat next to you – is it free?
H: Hello, is there anybody?
H: Can I sit next to you?
C: Why are you yellow?
H: Hmmm I’ve never thought about it before.
C: But why are you yellow ?
H: Because not everybody can look like you dude! I’ll take seat next to you now.
C: Sir I don’t like you sitting next to me.
H: Yes, and I don’t like Marge calling me home from Moes tavern but shit happens right buddy?
C: It’s not logical that people are yellow, are you sick? Maybe you can paint your skin, because I don’t like the color yellow.
H: No. I’m not sick. Maybe sick for donuts? Do you want some?
H: Fine, because I wouldn’t give you one.
C: Maybe you have got the jaundice. It’s when your skin has a yellow pigmentation. You get it if you have increased levels of bilirubin in the extracellular fluid. It’s when you have a disturbance in your bilirubin metabolism. If your concentration of bilirubin plasma is higher than 2.5mg/dl than it leads to jaundice
H: What the hell?! Can I use a Phone-a-friend lifeline? Lisa will understand…
C: You smell like Dad when he was out with his friends at evening. Kind of an alcohol smell
H: Duff beer. For adults and kids with a fake identity card.
C: You know that alcohol is unhealthy.
H:D’oh! But it’s the cause and solution for every problem.
C: Why do you dribble?
H: Because I’m so hungry
C: But you have eaten six donuts.
H: Yes, but it’s five minutes ago. Do you want to see my special talent. I can eat 3 donuts at once.
C:Do you know that every third person is corpulent in the USA.
H: Is that bad or good?
H: As long as my favorite blue jeans fits everything is okay.
H: What’s your name?
C: I am not allowed to talk to strangers.
H: Dude, I thought that we were friends!
C: I don’t know anything about you, so you are a stranger.
H: Okay my name is Homer Simpson. I have got two children. Oh no wait I’ve got three. My big love is the duffman and I’m married with Marge. I’m working in a nucular power plant. Well I pretend working when my boss is around me. Mr. Burns.
C: It’s called nuclear power plant. Lucky, dullness is not contagious.
H: Oh no it isn’t I have asked my doctor.
C: And you can feed a whole family?
H: More or less. But I’ve got three kids and no money but sometimes I wish I had three money and no kids.
H:Why are you alone without any parents?
C: Because I left home I want to go to my mother and live with her now.
H: Where is your dad?
C: He’s still at home. I left home because he lied very much and he has killed a dog.
H: Oh we also have a dog. He’s called Knecht Ruprecht. He is very clever. Might be he’s smarter than Bart.
C: A dog can’t be smarter than humans. Imagine a brain of a human weights 1200-1500 gram while a dogs brain weights just 70-150 gram. So the brain of humans is much bigger.
H: Wow, you sound so clever. What do you want to do for a living when you’re grown up?
C: My dream is to be astronaut.
H: So cool! Then you have to fly to the sun. But be careful just fly at night because at day the sun is too hot.
C: Maybe your brain weights also 70-150 gram…
H: The first time that I don’t weight more than other people! Where are we actually?
C: Nearby London.
H: D’ooh! I just wanted to go to the mall. Lisa asked me not to drive the car because of the fumes. Shit I think I’ve just picked the wrong train. Goodbye buddy. I have to find my way home. Hope we see each other again. Bye, bye.
C: Why was he yellow? I’m confused. Maybe I should solve some maths problems now.